By Crista Geary, Copywriter/Associate Creative Director
You might think that someone who subscribes to Communications Arts and reads One Show annuals from cover to cover would think that infomercials were the lowest form of advertising known to mankind. For me, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I love a good infomercial. I marvel at the absorption power of the ShamWow®. I revel at the choptastic performance of The Magic Bullet® Blender. I laugh at, yet secretly long for, the royal blue Snuggie™. (Hey, there’s nothing worse than reaching for your drink while lounged out on the couch and having your blanket fall off your arm. That, my friend, is true hardship.)
Of course, I am not alone. Americans everywhere are glued to these infomercials. There’s something so alluring about this freakish merchandise and the ham-handed demonstrations that keep you wanting more. It’s a blast to watch someone struggling to take the cap off of a regular tube of toothpaste. What a chore! Thank goodness there’s a new wall-mounted toothpaste dispenser to take that burden off my shoulders.
Sure, infomercials are cheesy. But they embrace the cheddar and dish it up with flair. And it’s working. I’ve heard reports that more than 4 million Snuggies were sold last year. And now, with their new animal prints, who knows how high that number could go.
With holiday shopping fast approaching, so is a new batch of infomercials with products looking to be the direct response Tickle Me Elmo of the season. So here’s my sneak peek at the top contenders:
• Runner-up for holiday sensation has got to be Bendaroos®. Sure, we’ve seen Bendaroos before. But have we ever had the benefit of the new traceable templates that allow you to create three-dimensional buildings and pets with ease? No we have not. I am counting on these babies to satisfy my own children’s desire for a new puppy. Of course, if you call now, they’ll double your order for FREE. That’s like four million Bendaroos for the price of two million. Plus, shipping and processing charges. Sold.
• But the pièce de résistance of the season has got to be Big Top Cupcake™. Say goodbye to those puny cupcakes of yesteryear. Now you can make a king-sized cupcake that is 25 times bigger than the average human head. And you can fill it with pudding.
To quote that quintessential ship-in-a-bottle moment in Napoleon Dynamite,
“I want that.”
The good news is that I can use a couple of Bendaroos to lasso my pants closed from the damage I’ve done eating a 7000-calorie Big Top Cupcake. And it’s dishwasher safe. What more could you ask for?
